Another Day in the Life of a Lupie

Again today I am nothing short of exhausted. I did, however, make it out of bed today. I even managed to put some makeup on. I feel as though I am walking through a vat of molasses. Even still, I have to manage to do something for dinner. It'll be a late dinner. The boys are outside enjoying the day and I'm going to let them play for as long as possible. So for a little while I get to have some quiet time. Lately these little spurts of quiet time are spent praying or sleeping. The boys have been very compassionate and helpful this past week. I am lucky to have such great kids.

I've been getting a bit of hate mail lately because of a comment that I left on someone's video on youtube. The video was proclaiming that this person had cured himself of SLE by following a strict diet. I commented that there is no cure for SLE and posting videos such as this detracts away from the cause of finding a true cure. After reading quite a bit of verbal abuse aimed at me, I just quit reading and blocked those people. But I stand by what I said. There is NO cure for Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. If whatever diet, or juice, or snake oil, these people took that "cured" them really worked, then they didn't have Lupus to begin with. There is so much misinformation out there and these people are making it worse. Why would we be taken seriously if people believed all we had to do to be cured was follow a diet, or drink a certain juice? If only it were that easy. Now, people have found symptom relief by following certain diets and taking certain supplements. I am not discounting these people. I believe that symptoms sometimes can be managed that way for some. But not for all. And it's definitely not a cure.

As part of the new direction I am taking my blog in, I am going to list the symptoms I have felt today at the end of each post.

Symptoms today have included:
Fatigue, exhaustion
joint pain, both large and small
forgetfulness
depression
anxiety
sensitivity to light

It's been quite a while!

Yes, it's been quite a while since I've devoted any time at all to this blog. A lot has been happening in my personal life, I won't write about anything or anyone not directly having anything to do with me without their express permission, so even though I've had some pretty rough emotional things happen I can't write about them. Sorry to be so vague, but that's all I have to say about that.

Now, after a little chat I had with my half sister on facebook I have decided to use my powers for good and get back on track with this whole blog thing. I wanted this blog to be an outlet for my feelings and for my experience with my diseases and how I cope with it all. I'm really going to try hard to get back on task. I find that I am a much happier person when I write things down. Even if no one ever reads the things I write, there is still some kind of release that happens when taking the thoughts and worries out of my head and putting them on paper or a computer screen.

I have been extremely tired lately. I think I am emotionally exhausted more than anything. I have a very large, compassionate heart and when someone I love it hurting, I feel it in my heart, but I also feel it physically. Not that I have the same pain that they are having, but I think strong emotions cause my lupus to become more active. Staying stress free is obviously impossible, but I am getting much better at positive thinking. This has helped me tremendously. I also pray much more often than I ever have. Any quiet time I have I pray. I talk to my God in my own quiet way. I know he hears me and I know he has answered me. I've been pressured lately into going back to the church that the boys and are are members of. I don't have anything against this, I like to attend church when I am feeling well enough for it. And I especially like it when the boys get to go because they get to meet and socialize with some really great people while the worship Heavenly Father and Jesus. But for me, I believe that my personal relationship with Our Father is what's really important. I may not be as "religious" as some in my family would like me to be, but I do have faith and I do have a bond that I strengthen on a regular basis by praying and by doing what I think is right and living the best I can.

So, this will be all for now! But...I will be back. I'm going to try to write something at least once per day. Plus I have an idea that I'm kicking around about a new "series" I could add to this blog. Have a blessed day and hug those you love!

More Snow!! and...Some Makeup Stuff :)

Lots of snow on the way!! The last snow we had was a really dry snow and the boys and Matt didn't get a chance to build their snow fort or make use of the snowball maker (thanks Devon!) or the catapult (sic). We have plenty of bread and milk so let it snow.

I was lucky enough to receive some money this Christmas to spend on myself so I decided to splurge on some makeup items that I've been wanting for some time. The purchase I love the most is the Urban Decay Naked palette. It was way more cash than what I'd usually spend on makeup, but I figured it's Christmas money, so it's okay. It comes with a travel size primer potion and a dual ended eyeliner, one side in whiskey (brown) and the other side in zero (black). The colors are really similar to some other palettes I have. I have the nude on nude and the champagne and caviar palettes by NYX, both of which are very comparable to the Naked palette. The biggest difference is that the Urban Decay shadows are more "buttery", if that makes any sense...LOL.

CVS had their usual end of season sales and I got some AMAZING stuff for next to nothing!! The entire line of HiP stuff by L'oreal (excluding a few things) was on clearance for 75% off. Revlon had some great stuff too. They have the best lip products ever. I like their lippies even better than department store brands. Normally I'm not a big lipstick person, but when they go on clearance I'll try out some new shades. And...lastly I got Maybelline's Great Lash mascara in the regular and waterproof version and one with the curved brush. I know, I know...I always try that mascara and end up hating it but I always feel compelled to give it another shot. The non waterproof version smudges terribly on me and it doesn't do much in the way of adding volume or length. It just darkens the lashes. That's it. The waterproof version doesn't smudge as bad (but it still smudges). I guess this mascara is better than using nothing at all, and I'll try to use it up so I don't waste it, but I won't be purchasing this mascara again.

Well, I have to get my day started so I'm outta here for now!! :)

Back To Normal

Well, now that the holidays are officially over things are slowly starting to get back to normal. I haven't blogged much, or even been on the laptop that much because I've been trying to spend more time with the kids. I have to say, I really hated sending Justin back off to school. I wish I could home school him as well, but I don't think it would work out very well with him. They are all growing up so quickly now. They are turning into young men right before my eyes. I just want to hold on for a bit longer...I'm not ready to let them go just yet. Justin still has the "baby" like look about him. He still has his child voice, unlike the other 2. That will all be gone far too soon. I guess this is just life and I have to enjoy these times while they are here.

I have been really depressed and angry lately, I think maybe due to a new med I've been put on. The thing is, the med helps so much that I don't want to stop taking it. So, I've been trying to deal with these emotions the best I can. Of course, some of the depression is undoubtedly from the fact that I feel robbed out of a normal life thanks to Lupus.

I guess this is all for now. I'm going to try and get back to a regular schedule of writing again. It makes me feel better.

Have a blessed day everyone.

To Swap or Not To Swap.....

For the past few months I've been frequenting a pretty cool makeup site called makeupalley.com. A part of the site allows for members to swap makeup back and forth. Which is great in theory. I almost decided to do this, and then I thought better of it. Of course everyone is supposed to sanitize the makeup before sending out for a swap, and all should do it before using something received from a swap, but this still kinda creeps me out. I don't even like to eat at buffet restaurants, why in the world would I use a lipstick that some stranger had their mouth on? It would be cool to try different products, but I just can't get over the ick factor. Am I weird? Does anyone else find the whole thing a little unsavory? Other than that, I absolutely love that site. It's really informative and a great place to find out about new products before a purchase. I really recommend anyone else whom really likes makeup to check it out.

To continue on the makeup theme of this post, I decided to post a pic of the color wheel in case anyone is interested. I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday evening at home.

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Long time no blogging!

I have taken a short leave from blogger recently because I've had a lot of stuff going on with my health and just with personal things. I'm going to try to get back into the habit of it because I do miss it!

Christmas is just about a week away and I'm glad to report that my shopping is done. I did all of my shopping online this year. I think the boys are going to be very happy with what they are getting this year, even though the quantity is not as much as it has been in previous years. I just hope I feel somewhat "normal" again by Christmas. For about the past week I've been running a fever (among other symptoms) and have felt bad. I am pretty sure stress is causing some of it. My stress level is just through the roof. This time of year is hard on a lot of people, especially those of us who have loved ones who are no longer with us. I miss my Grandma everyday, but the holidays add extra sadness. The boys are the main reason I don't let it get me down too much. I want to make sure they have enjoyable memories of the holidays.

I feel a nap coming on, but I really need to get dinner in the crock pot first! Tonight it is beef stew in a red wine sauce and seasoned dumplings. I think the nap may win and we'll just be eating dinner a little later this evening! I hope everyone is staying warm and enjoying the holiday season!